Ah, but you did listen to yourself or you would not be here, now, telling us so well about it! You are not stupid, what other people are doing is not what we are doing. You wanted attention at that time and you got it. Not ultimately like you wanted it but there is nothing wrong with trying something out that you are unfamiliar with. We all have to learn, you just had "book" knowledge before but now you have actual life experience and can truly help others. Feel good about yourself, you did not do anything at all stupid or wrong. Think about it like you do bad fruit or milk; everyone smells or tastes it to see if it is bad? We know by look and feel usually before that and get that nasty smell/taste but we don't feel stupid having smelled/tasted it. You have not dated for quite awhile and you got a rotten piece of fruit first, sorry you opened it and it was like that. It can only get better :-)