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Originally Posted by Viuam
I am 28 and I currently live at home. I always have, since where I'm from it is a cultural taboo to move out if you're not married, unless you decide to leave the country. Also, the fact that I can't seem to get off my *** to get a job does not help things!
This is the second time I have crawled into the very comfortable pattern of hiding in my room and avoiding any social interaction, and I seem to be repeating the same exact behavior as I did the first time. I sleep all day just to make time pass faster, I am absolutely addicted to food (ballooned from 65kg to 80kg in the past 3 months), and I have no motivation to find a job or maintain any of my relationships. The few friends I have repeatedly tried to contact me, and I simply don't answer phone calls or texts. I can't be bothered, as I would have to explain why I have been avoiding them in the first place and I really don't want to explain my depression to anyone. They would not understand and it's embarrassing anyway.
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Hi Viuam. Just want to let you know that you are not alone; your situation sounds painfully similar to mine. I am 29 years old, and have been holed up at home since Nov 13 after a major depression cost me my job; I also try to sleep all day hoping time will pass quicker and have no interest in finding a job; I binged when I feel anxious and purged when I felt guilty of all the nonsense I ate; I stopped returning phone calls and msgs from all my friends. Luckily for me I live with my mother who cares deeply for me and takes very good care of me. Although I feel a lot of shame and guilt towards her too, for my unreasonable outbursts of anger at her for no apparent reason, and mostly just being a good-for-nothing daughter.
This happened last year for me too. I have this problem of overperforming and overworking at the start of a new job (and i blame my manic depression for it) and losing concentration and focus and eventually sinking into depression after a few months. I always think a manic episode yanked me out of the depression, but in retrospect I think talks with my T must have helped too. I regret deeply discontinuing therapy after I got myself out of depression last year. I guess I was blinded by the euphoria from the mania, to believe that all the deep-seated problems and disorders I have had all my life were miraculously solved the moment I snapped outta the depression. I think it was wishful thinking on my part.
I guess what I am saying is, although meds form an integral part of healing, I think some problems can only be solved with therapy. I hope you are able to find a way to see someone to talk your problems through (My sisters are paying for my therapy since I am unemployed; is there someone who can help pay for professional help first?). I know once the money problem is solved you might face some inertia in leaving the house to actually visit your T, like me. It took me two months to call and make an appointment with my T. I have an appointment to see my T tomorrow, originally scheduled last Friday but I bailed on her because I couldn't bring myself to leave the house. I hope I will have enough courage to do the right thing tomorrow.
I wish you all the best, and take care.