I am a 21 year old virgin, with pretty much no relationship experience. I've never been in love I can only dream about it. Unrequited love is torture. It's depressing and when I wake up I feel empty and not my usual joke cracking, sarcastic self. I've heard of 30 and 40 year old virgins and think to myself how can you avoid being in a relationship that long. I feel, even at my young age that my lack of a love life (and social life) is really psychologically damaging. A lot of times, maybe because of the antidepressants, I feel numb but occasionally that lonely feeling returns and I am yearning for affection. I'd rather just feel nothing. I feel like I should work on myself before deciding that I am ready to date, or perhaps I am avoiding something. I need to be perfect in order for another person to accept me. I have always been alone and that is my "comfort zone". I don't know how to be with another person. The antisocial side of me is repulsed by the thought of being in love and vulnerable but the human side wants it badly. I believe that one I day I will fall in love and it will be real and not a dream.....a make-believe fairy-tale. However, right now, I have a lot of guards up and am focused on self-reliance and self-preservation.