First off, I would like to tell you that I have a complex personality. I have a strange relationship with my parents. We love each other, and I can easily say I have had a positive childhood experience. However, I try to avoid expressing my feelings to them. For example, If I am sad, I try to conceal it. It is almost like I do not want to show them I have feelings. I am not like this with my friends. Only with my parents, for reasons I will never know. I do not want them to see that I am a sensitive human-being with feelings. I don't know why i'm like this with them.

anyways, two months ago i was at a coffee shop and this guy hit on me. I am 20, and he is 27. However, he thought i was older because of the way i dress/act. I didn't mind the age difference. We live 2 hours away, so we exchanged numbers and we have been texting, speaking on the phone, skyping etc. we speak on the phone/skype for 6 hours per day, while constantly texting on top of that. He is an amazing guy and we have amazing chemistry.

We finally went on our first official date two weeks ago, and we had the most amazing time. I live in NYC, and he lives 3 hours away. He traveled all the way to NYC just to see me for the day. He does not have much money, so he told people that instead of a certain christmas gift, he just wanted money as a present so he can travel to treat me. Him and I have only kissed, by the way. I lied to my parents and said I was meeting up with college friends.

There are some issues that may affect my parents, and can negatively affect me in the future. I am jewish. He is not. However, he wants to convert to judiasm to be with me, which is great. My family is well-off and his is working class. I don't know if he can give me the lifestyle that I am accustomed to now. He's extremely brilliant, but he could not afford to attend college, so he does not have a high paying job. The thing is that I am so in love, so I would not mind downsizing to be with him. I think that now though. I don't know how i will feel in the future...

First of all, why am I so embarrassed to show my parents that I am a human-being with feelings? It is not normal. I want to tell them that I'm in love but I don't want them to see that side of me. I know they'd be happy for me, but I would be giving up the identity I have presented to them for the past 10 years. I'm not worried to tell them his background. I just wan't to get over the first step and I will worry about that later.

I'm not the type who falls for guys easily. I am a 20 year old virgin. I am a junior in college. I do not fall for a guy's ********. I am very careful about the guys i associate with. I have never let a guy go further than kissing me. This guy truly loves me and I love him. At age 20, I'm surrounded by many guys and I don't even take interest in them because I'm now in love. I want to cry because it's an amazing feeling. He is my first love.

Sorry this is long. Thank you for reading my post .