Thanks guys, your support means a lot to me.

I know this will pass, if I'm lucky it'll be over in about 2 weeks, which is my usual MO.
But I also know it will rear its ugly head again and again, and again and again.

That's the part that's got me so damn mad, and utterly hopeless. That no matter how happy or stable I am, that no matter how hard I work at being whole and healthy, it all disappears in the blink of an eye and I'm back in this pit of dispair aGain!

I'm just over this whole experience, I don't see a point in trying to get better, or trying to fight it. I just honestly don't.

Instead of chewing me to a fine paste, regurgitating me, giving me a break, and then starting again, I wish it would just swallow me whole and be done with me already