I was hospitalized the first time at 18. Then again at 25. Finanly diagnose with bipolar tipe 2. I never felt I fit in that diagnoe. Then after I turned 40 in a spand of 2 years I been hospitalized 3 times. I once peeked at my medical file and saw it said I have borderline personality disorder. when I asked my Dr he denied it. However my therapist thinks I do and so do I. things are only getting worst. I just found this site and score very high for so many heilnesses. I think I disociate. I ofen think I switch to a different person. I have since maybe 6 years old have given my personality names mostly girls but one boy for sure. I can recal 7 people in me. There is times when in my brain there is fights arguments. Like they all want to take over. My ex killed himself and two years later its like he was there slaming doors judging me telling me I have to pay for causing his death. He wanted me to die pay he would never stop until I and my daughter died. I have often though of killing myself. He also goes into my daughter life. Two days ago I was upset with my boyfriend who I adore very much I felt like he never supports me or understand. He don't trust me. Everything is my fault. When I got up in the morning I was someone else. By the end of day I figured this is new I was my mother. I have now issolated myself. I read study want to understand live more normal life. I cant control it. They take over. I often have forgotten what ive done completely. I have forgotten years of my childhood and adulthood. Also think everyone has secrets. Everyone is evil and want to hide there evil. That no one good would be part of my life. That they pick me because im sick and weak that I can be abused. Thats it for now.