I am sorry that you relapsed, and I know what the repercussions feel like. I don't think that self-harmers warrant shame, you are doing your best to cope, and until issues are mostly dealt with it will be tough. But you are surviving and that is the most important thing right now.

What other coping methods do you have? Sometimes thinking and writing down what you have in your tool bad helps to realize that you have other coping skills.

Are there things that are going on to trigger the SI? Was it a one time things that turned into a compulsion, or are you triggered by an onslaught of continuous negative emotions or experiences or stressers?

Let me know if you want to talk.