I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time letting go of the past. I can relate. My ex-hub and I were together for 18 years before our divorce. It's been 4 years since the divorce, and I've had a bf who just isn't "Mr. Right" since just before the divorce was finalized. I was completely alone during a year-long separation though.

Anyway, after 5 years of being apart, I still feel sad about my ex. I wish that we could have worked things out. Our problems lie upon my physical and emotional disabilities. Something he never supported me on & that was heartbreaking for me. I had also struggled for many years with my lack of sexual interest (due mostly to SA past). I still can't help but blame myself for all of the difficult changes that our family has gone through.

We do share custody of our 2 girls 50/50, but he is technically known as the primary caregiver. While that decision always made logical sense to me, it has still always been very difficult for me to accept.

You aren't alone ~ best wishes to you!