I have seen no evidence of this bad guy you speak of

I think your ex wife dipping in and out of the boys lives willy nilly is very damaging behaviour. Its mostly why I keep my SOB exbf away from my daughter. He only remembers her existance maybe twice a year and I don't want her growing up confused and repeatedly hurt by his actions, inactions and perpetual broken promises.

The way I see it, I did it fast, like ripping off a band aid. Now she has 1 hurt to deal with and heal from, an absent father. Instead of adding a host of others that come from his appearing and disappearing acts.

Lucky for me though, she doesn't want to see him, so I'm not doing her an injustice by keeping them apart and she doesn't hold his absence against me. Things are admittedly trickier when the kids want the absent parent to be present.

I hope your lawyer helps you out soon so that you guys may come to a peaceful resolution. And FFS, stop giving that woman money!