Twigg, I'm sorry you are hurting so bad. I feel the same way most of the time, but I, too, realize the pain and suffering it would cause my family. But we can't make judgements for other people. I've read too much on PC to tell me the families really suffer. But I wouldn't be broken hearted if I just cease to exist at any time. I hope that light shows up for you, even though, the tunnel is long.