A butterfly may be an insect, but you aren't. I know your self esteem is low or you wouldn't be trapped where you are. SI promises relief, but in the end, all it gives is damage, pain and permanent scars.

Are you aware of specific incidents or situations that are triggers for you? If you know what they are, can you avoid them, or at least some of them? If not, can you speak your mind? For instance if a trigger is the way someone is treating you, standing up to them will be a longer lasting relief, it won't leave scars and your self esteem will be better. Sometimes we have more control over a situation than we think we do. Loss of control used to be a trigger for me, and it took a long time for me to realize it and then to push myself into taking back some of my control.

I know its easy to say stop and somewhat irritating when someone else tells you that, but I'm not just making things up. I was in that trap for forty years before I stopped. I still have some urges, but so far I'm two years clean. You can do it too. My guess is that you would never punish someone else by cutting them. If you don't think that its a fair punishment for anyone else, why do that to yourself? You are just as good as anyone else. You may not be punishing yourself, and have a different reason, but the comparrison is pretty much the same.

Sam2