You have to realize there is no one else in your life but you and decide to do whatever, no matter how hard, for you. It's a habit thing and will be really difficult since you have practiced the opposite for so long but it is very doable. I realized when I was 41, in the middle of an accounting final, when I caught myself wishing I had studied just a little harder, that I was the only one being affected; my mother, professor, husband, friends, etc. did not care if I did well, just me. I made myself do my homework, made myself engage in what I had chosen/was doing and got straight A's from then on.