You should not apologize for trying to get the help you need. Don't apologize for posting here, that's what this is for. I guess what I really mean to say is that for me I used to practically apologize for being alive! It was a long slow process to learn that I didn't need to apologize for trying to get help for myself, for making myself happy and for learning how to put my NEEDS (not wants) first. I can't help anyone else if I can't help myself first.

I also learned to accept the person I AM, not the person I wanted to be or others wanted me to be. I'm not super woman. I'm not a saint. I'm not always loving and kind. I'm not always, or even often, happy. That's ok. I do have depression, I need lots of time for myself. I need a slower pace of life. I need to protect myself from certain kinds of people or situations or just simply too much stress because I have a disease, just like someone with diabetes or cancer. It's okay for me to take care of myself and do what ever it is I need to do to live with (and threw) my depression.

I've suffered from depression for decades. As as I said it's been a long, sloooooooooooooooow, slog. But I've learned that, like someone else here said, this too shall pass. Everything changes, especially my moods. I still have depression, I never know if a down day is going be a day or two, or a week or two or several months. It's always a surprise.

So don't deny your depression but don't be held captive by it either. It could be gone quicker than you think. If not, treat yourself the way you would someone you love who has depression - get all the help you can, be nice to yourself, give yourself a break, treat yourself, distract yourself with things and people you really like - as long as it's constructive and not destructive. And it's okay to put yourself first and take of yourself like that for months, if that's what it takes to get threw a depressive episode.