I can tell if it's obvious with others but I don't spend much time focused on my own body language. I was wondering if my wierd thing with understanding words to actions and being somewhat oblivious to the finer details of facial expression and body language has something to do with aspd. I was begining to feel I don't have aspd but I seem to have a way of understanding/learning that must differ to everyone else since I have mulitiple complaints about finding out info on the net. I google word meanings and I get what the words mean and so on but putting that to the physical world frustrates me. It's always been there but I never noticed it like this. It's something quite confusing as the only thing even closely relating to it I've read anything about is how they say physco's can hear the words but not the music and when I became aware of this problem I have that noone else seems to it made me think of that and if that's what that means but I don't think I'm physco I think I'm anti-social which again gets confuing cos some peopel think it's the same and some think they are 2 different things. I mean I'm pretty sure I'm not a physcopath, cold bloody going to murder anyone type of person but I am defiantely not like others hence the reason I think I'm aspd. I saw something saying how physcopaths are cold, calculated, highly aware, planners, navigate well through relationships and plan violence etc and socio's/aspd are unorganised, bad at relationships, have trouble controlling violence or other urges and some other stuff I forget. the second sounds like me but I dont know if the thing I began talking about here fits aspd also or just physco's. This is all very confusing as there is so much info and misinfo out there. I have rambled on but all this is related. I often don't even know if what I'm saying will make sense to other people cos I have noticed a few things about myself that seem 'out of whack' with other people and there reactions and somethings people have mentioned or they look at me funny when I say something sometimes. This is kind of long but I'm sick of my life sucking I want answers. I do have emotions and can get quite attacted to partners yet I have no close friendships. example I spent xmas and new year alone except one person came over but rather than do what others do and go out I am just angry that those bastards ignored or forgot me... is that interpersonally cold? selfish? or what? Idk I'm off on a bit of a tangent and a lot of word vomit tonight ha ha ha ha I think I have empathy sometimes but I am often uncomfortable around other people and can't relax until I'm alone. I also have ptsd so that might explain that, sorry for the essay but my mind is playing games and not letting things out in a straight line tonight I guess. A lot of confusion :/