I think this is the important thing. This and you want to get them happy with you for doing a good job so they can lower your dose. Or, if the side effects are bad maybe it will convince them to switch you to a different something. Have you been on olanzepine before? Maybe you won't have the side effects. Not everyone has side effects the same way. Abilify gives me horrible, horrible side effects but you have none. So, just because someone else had a bad experience maybe you won't.

I know it's hard. But, obviously the crisis team and doctors are giving you an ultimatum and you have to decide if the risk of not taking it is worth what comes next. Hospital? Injections? All of it forced? Maybe it's better to give in a little now so that later you can say "see, I'm doing a good job so maybe you can work with me on this." I Know it sucks. Maybe it will help your anxiety if nothing else.

Just want to see you better, Kureha, and not living in high anxiety and not having to be threatened by things like hospitals.