Pomegranate,

Thank you for your posting. It helped to remind me that I'm not completely defective because of the problems and issues I deal with day to day. Lately, I've been consumed with a sense of total failure. I've been trying to overcome it with attempts at positive thinking, meditation, calming breaths, but in the end that sickening feeling sweeps over me again and again. I picture myself climbing a ladder and attempting to rise to another rung. And as I reach for the next rung, it seems the rung is heavily coated with grease and my hands and feet continuously slip back down. I desperately want to believe in a change for the better. I've been wanting to be better for so long and having not achieved that after all these years has caused me to feel hopeless about my situation. I wish my problems were like the dark, ominous clouds that hover above in a storm because then I'd know they would soon pass over. It simply feels when the sun does break through, it never stays out long enough. I relish those times when my spirit feels lifted and try to remind myself that there will be times like that again.

Calm <font color="#000088"> </font>