I'm not uncomfortable around guys in any other way than in a sexual way (or if I feel like they're not a safe person to be around or something) and we always have WAY more common interests than girls. In fact, women don't mind me around but I have almost nothing in common with them and always feel like the odd one out if I'm just around women. So, basically it would make more sense for me to hang out around guys, but it's the guys that don't want me around anymore than necessary or they don't bother telling me.

And I am attractive looking even though I'm still a size 10 (size 13 in juniors as I wear a lot of juniors clothes) but I'm just more of a "guy" in personality and mannerisms and such. Apparently I look and act really gay (I would consider myself bi or polysexual so there's some truth to that) so guys may just think I'm gay and not bother hanging out with me because guys only hang out with girls they want to sleep with, at least while they're still single.

Or it could very well be because I'm not a size zero…I remember in undergrad a girl with a similar personality to me who was naturally very skinny and everyone paid attention to her and I didn't even exist because I was probably a size 14 at that point. I'm not sure my body could even get that small without an eating disorder…but even then, I have big bones and muscles so even though based on my non-existent hips I could probably fit into a much smaller size, my thighs keep me in a size 10. And my arms, shoulders, back, chest etc., make it difficult to wear women's shirts. I prefer men's clothes (especially in the past) because I could never find any shirt that my chest would fit in that wouldn't be huge at my waist. I wear more effeminate clothes now, but I miss wearing guy's jeans.

Anyway, despite having what I assume would be considered a big chest, I hate it and generally wear sports bras and shirts that cover my whole chest. Mainly from the shame that even if I wear a proper bra and a low-cut top, still no one will notice that I have large breasts…so I must be really hideous in some way for that to happen. I guess I must be more attractive the more I hide my body so I guess I'll continue to do that.

It's either that or everyone assumes I can't possibly be single so no one even bothers trying with me…or I'm terrifyingly intimidating somehow. If I approach a guy though, he gets put off….kind of like, how dare a girl approach a guy?! But then they complain if girls don't approach them, so I don't know what guys want.

Or it's because I'm nothing like what a girl should be at my age or any age. I've tried to be more girly, but there's only so far I can go. Even with make-up, I prefer the more "masculine" thick dark eyeliner to say, softer colors.

So, in summary, guys either think I'm a lesbian, are terrified of me, don't think I'm skinny enough to be friends with, I'm too masculine, or think it's impossible for me to be single (which I guess means I'm TOO attractive to hang out with).