((((((( Rhap ))))))))

I am so sorry that it is so hard for you... What you say/think is right... you will never be the same person... you are changed. But this need not be such a negative thing... It is unfortunately a part of your past and has shaped you in some ways... ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE... I have used this analogy a lot, but I want to post it again...

When you get hurt it leaves a wound, the deeper the wound, the longer it takes to heal, and if you do not look after it properly it will begin to fester... But with proper care the wound will heal and will become less and less sensitive... untill you are only left with the scar... yes, there will be a scar... but it should not hurt anymore...

Maybe you are experiencing this torment because you are not ready to quit therapy?