I don't get it, sandman.

Yes, you loved her at a time in your life, and you had two wonderful children together. They are daily reminders of that love that was once there. Of course, you don't want your ex to suffer ~ or have to be "without".

Honestly though, it doesn't sound as though she's trying very hard to keep a solid and healthy relationship with her boys. I have a difficult time understanding that concept, but I have a sister who has a similar way of life (whom I can't help but love), so I can relate to your situation a bit.

From my personal experience with divorce, I know that the court considers alimony a way to keep the other living similarly to the way that you used to live together. If/when that person re-marries, that's the end of alimony. Child support is an entirely separate concept. My ex-hub's alimony and my child support essentially cancelled the other out. Have you considered looking into that side of things in your case? It is a very personal decision, I know. But, you shouldn't have to pay alimony to her if she isn't going to play an active, healthy and regular role in her son's lives I don't think. I'm sure that the court would side with you as well. Something to think about anyway...

Sorry that you're having a tough time with your ex.