Twice in one day.... that's a first. Honestly talking about the whole family dynamics didn't help today. I thought I could talk about it.... and now I feel even worse.. I don't feel like going to any New Year's Eve party. I just want to be alone and get through the night...

There's just so much shame associated with si. I keep a lot of this from my family because of the judgements that would occur. I have no one to talk to about all of this. and that makes me feel so ALONE. I'm starting to hate all holidays, one by one.