Quote:
Originally Posted by Daeva
I've been there, where you finally let your T in, your walls crumble and they see your vulnerable insecurities, you tell them things you'd swore you never tell anyone. You really feel like you made great progress and had a breakthrough and did some good work, however the next sessions are nothing like that and it's like you retreated back into your castle and are back at a somewhat square one.
That I have found through the help of PC and my ex-C, is normal. A lot of times it is either a combination of your T wanting to pace you and give you time to recover instead of harming you by bringing it all out at once, or your own defences trying to heal you, which is perfectly normal. This does not mean you won't ever get back to that spot with your T, you will. It sounds like you have quite the journey ahead of you, just know you're on the right track!
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Exactly. Though, now looking back at last night's session, I don't think I really retreated...so much as I realized that letting more out last night would have been too much for me to do and handle so soon after letting so much out the week before. She did ask me how I felt since that session and I admit I believe I was a little vague on answering her. I think she also realizes that I need to be able to pace myself after we talked about the whole AA thing. She was in no way mad or hates me like I thought she would. We actually met on middle ground with that, which I'm glad about. I'm not entirely against AA or going to meetings to help me on some level...because they did help me to a good extent...but she is not going to be pushing AA on me and making it a central focus of my recovery like she was.