Hoppery, could you write out your concerns about thinking that you might need therapy and your fears that it will be a slow process in trusting someone? That way they will be working with all of the information in front of them and be able to make an informed decision about what is best for you.

I'm a lot like you as far as the trust thing. I have been going to my T for 2 years now and I still have trouble opening up to him. Luckily, he said from the beginning that he fully expected it to be a long process with me and expected trust to be slow in coming. He has be really patient with that because he knew what to expect in advance. Maybe that would work for you?

Truly hoping that you can get what you need. Hope you will have the courage to ask for it, whatever that is.