Last night it was seriously "to stay alive".

This morning I've calmed down slightly and it's "to have more fun". Which is an odd one perhaps since it follows one of the worst new years eves I've ever had where I realized I didn't have any family or friends who I could talk to about anything important. Maybe one person but I'm so scared of overloading them with my **** that I daren't even think of them as a friend for fear of messing things up between us.

Anyway, the plan is that if I make having fun a higher priority then I can focus less on the negative stuff and make better use of any positive opportunities that come my way. And I've found specific goals never really work. Although, that said, I did quit smoking officially on 1st Jan 2011 and haven't smoked a cigarette since so maybe they do work if it's something you really want and have complete personal power over (like quitting smoking).