Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambra
I had a bad relationship with my first T. I wasn't attached (and it was great) but I wasn't going anywhere, I just hated her and didn't listen to a word cause she looked so annoyed and judgemental all the time.
I wish the relationship with my current T wasn't important. But unfortunately it is. Attachment brought me fear of abandonment. I dread her saying I'm ready to terminate (but she doesn't know what happened during the holidays, lol).
But I'm also grateful for this because it means she will let me go once I'm better - when I am ready, hopefully.
Lately I've been brainwashing myself with the thought that I'm just work to T and that she is likely not to even remember my name outside that room. I was hoping it would help to be less attached but I'm not sure it's the right way.
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Its so hard but I really believe they do care, well most of them anyway.
I am sure a few that don't somehow slip through the system but why would you go into this profession if you didn't care because the training is so hard and intense. Sometimes being attached to your t can be your biggest learning in therapy because it highlights your behaviours in your relationships outside of the room and can be standing in front of a mirror. Sometimes we don't like what we see on the other side unfortunately but if we are there to start changing aspects of ourselves learning about the attachment and the relationship is the best way to start. Sounds like you are painfully aware of this already.
