Why don't you start couples counseling with him to start the healing process with someone who can help you learn and establish a healthy relationship?

Honestly old habits die hard. You can tell him to be honest but he wont unless he's taught to and practices it. Couples counseling provides the foundation because it forces both of you to look at what you nay have lacked. It could also show you how much he's willing to work for the relationship. If not this then a workbook or something.