That might explain it even better. So if i sign up for a personal trainer to explain how gym equipment works, then i spend the whole time listening to my ipod. They may be doing an excellent job - i'm not doing my assumed half. There's no law against my not doing my half - i'm just curious now about why i am not, seein's how i went to the trouble of hiring a personal trainer, and now i'm effectively sticking my fingers in my ears and going lalalalalalala. You shoulda seen our happy new year texts last night! My poor t!

Eta: catching up on posts: i think i might be coming from a different place? I am pretty alone, and i dont have successful relationships. I see friends now just a few times a year. I have acquaintances around the apartment complex. And the various store people know me. those arent exactly deep relationships But they're better than nothing. And i have a knack for connecting with strangers, like on the bus, that is oddly satisfying.