I always have a pillow in my lap but for me its not about hiding its about having something to do with my hands.... one had a big button on it and a fake loop to button it and i would button and unbutton it... or it has a pattern on it to trace or a tag on it to rub between my fingers... that to me is about my anxiety...

lately my T and I are discussing trauma and i either usually slouch down so much in the sofa so that I'm looking at the ceiling and not T... or now that we are working through a workbook... I sometimes hold the workbook up in front of my face... I even said that was what i was doing...hiding behind the workbook..he just smiled... This is shame...embarrassement... fear of being disgusting...rejected...etc.