Quote:
Originally Posted by Harley47
Well, why not give some of the social things a chance? Have a friend or two come along with you...if things aren't going well or if you aren't having a good time (or both), you at least have them to fall back on. Couldn't hurt, right? Barring the practice rooms, anyway. 
I say it as another opportunity because that's how I see it.  You can't be certain that you next three years at college are it, you know? There's life after college, and that doesn't occur in a vacuum. Who knows who you could meet?
As far as the guy who didn't say anything, we can be shy too.  He may've feared rejection...his behavior sounds a little flirty, and confiding in the mom is, speaking for myself and applying it here, pretty much a sure fired crush. Of course, if his behavior annoys you I would tell you to address that, but...what are your thoughts on him?
But I'd tell you when you have the sense for that occasional guy...look into it! We can be just as shy and just as fearful of rejection as anyone else. You might be relieving a huge load off their shoulders by making the first move if you suspect they like you, as they know by you asking that you've an interest and they can drop the fear. |
I've gone to social things in my year off from school, but I'm always the only single person there. In life after college, everyone is taken, except for the one guy I went on a date with and then he stopped talking with me. And to go to social things at school with friends, I'd have to make friends first. I think there may still be people there back when I was getting my Masters, but I may be limited in my interactions with just other graduate students and possibly faculty (maybe just doctoral students and faculty) because undergrads aren't really going to want to be around me…they sort of didn't want to be around me when I was getting my Masters.
So basically, who can I meet? Married people, people with partners, and single people who are single because they don't want to be in a relationship (or they would be) or single people not interested in my gender. I mean, it's weird not to be married out of undergrad let alone being single and getting a doctorate.
And the guy that tended to annoy me…I never really saw a relationship there but maybe friends with benefits. But I'll probably make myself look like a moron if I mention something to him because guys get mad if the girl makes the first move, plus if he doesn't like me or doesn't want to admit it then I look bad.
I've only had one positive response to me saying something first…and we sort of ended up friends kind of with benefits. And that's when I was 15. I give plenty of indication that I like them, I would just expect that if they like me for them to at least continue talking to me instead of just ignoring me all of a sudden. And no guy I actually ask can ever tell me the truth. "Oh sure I'll go out with you." means "Just kidding!" and "I'm not interested in dating anyone right now." means "I'm interested in dating anyone but you and I will have a girlfriend within the week that I'll show off to you and make sure you feel like the fool you really are for saying you liked me in the first place." Happens every single time.
I missed the window of time where everyone gets married…so I guess I just wait until someone get divorced or something?
At this point I have to settle for a friend with benefits from a younger undergrad guy, but I'm sure they'll think I'm too old for them because I'll be 26 when school starts. What 18-20 year old wants to be with a 26 year old? And what kind of monster do I look like?
I simply give up.