hmmm I am not good on any of those 3 things, I am very impatent (spelling??) , acceptance is defeat in my eye's and letting go- well that is the same as acceptance and makes me angry. I appreciate what your saying from one side though but when I think about it applying to me there is a side that has nasty things to say about that. It sets something in me off when people say certain things, I get a mad feeling in my chest but I have learned a bit about keeping that inside though it does come out sometimes. I should try that I guess but it's hard to explain, I can sit here and say all this now and mean it even but in 5 minutes or an hour I will be in different mind state and not care. That is the part that makes doing anything hard cos I want things to be better but I change a lot, well I say change but I guess it's more like I have a few set states of mind and when in most of them what I said before just doesn't matter at that time even though I ment it when I said I wanted things better. It's just too easy for me to not care and let go (not in the way u ment I let go of maybe the wrong things.) I'm not calculated though people who hardly know me but think they do have accused me of that and of being manipulative but I'm not. They don't seem to understand I have no control or not much over any of this either. They think I calculate my reactions- I don't, they think I plan out drama- I don't. They also never accept thier part in it either though. Other people mostly start sht on me anyway cos I'm not very power motivated. I rarely cause sht unless provoked, it's when they provoke me I have problems.