I just got divorced and am certainly not looking for any sort of dating. But in talking to my T about what needs the marriage fulfilled, she asked, "Do you remember what you said to me about why you married him?" Too much anxiety, too much dissocation - the answer was no, I didn't remember. She said, "You said, 'he paid more attention to me than anyone else ever did, he loved me, he'd never leave me." I notice now that I didn't say anything about how I felt about him.

So CD, though I am not wearing your shoes right now, I was. And were I to venture into online dating now, I probably would be again. We do indeed learn the hard way, but we do learn!

And congrats for having the courage to try again!