Wow, monochromatic and Truth : thank you both so much! That really helps me see ...

I'd spent most of the last 4 months following my wedding to the man I've always known (even in our frighteningly 'dark' times) to be the one I belong with, being crushingly convinced that because I could barely get even a glimpse anymore of the feelings of overwhelmed-by-in-loveness state our marriage was going to be a hollow shell...that we'd burnt out our deep and passionate love...that I had to either become a resigned shell or keep swinging between depression, anxious hopefulness and bitter fighting ...PHEW!!

It sounds quite basic and I feel quite foolish ... but I'm still fairly new in recognising my BPD and coming to understand all that it is (my greatly helpful T doesn't help with that cos has other beliefs - but I'll make that a separate post). And I don't know if you can understand why, but what you two shared has really helped ground my improving perspective and my groundedness on this relationship that means almost everything to me!

And thanks, Maranara, for the excellent idea of exploring and sharing the positives of BPD. Because it's so important to not just experience it as a 'curse' and to find gladness for what we happen to be.

If you'll excuse my ramble...I'll add that I am also glad that I do feel things so deeply (and highly and widely) - and I hope that I will again, like the admirably eloquent Angel in Bedlam, be able to create worthy writing from it - and that I can feel others' needs and states also.

Bowing out now, finally ...