If I get this wrong, I apologize. I can only relate to the details mentioned and comparing to my own experiences.

I have/had a lot of attachment issues in my life: over-attached, under-attached, sometimes both. It's like you want it so bad, but it's really not what you need.

My best advice is this: if your T really cares about you, your health, your goals...then she will be more than happy to work with you on your attachment too. I know the fear and the risk behind being that open. But at some point we have to take risks for ourselves. T's are our "doctors". We are their "patients". If you want a legitimate friendship with your T, the relationship will have to move outside the "zones" of professional, and it has to be mutual. Otherwise, if you want her to be your T, she needs to understand that.

I have recently had to open up to my T about issues I have in our own relationship. It's scary. My situation was actually opposite of yours, and I need my T to take down some boundaries (but there were more complicated issues mixed in with it). In the end, I'm glad I talked to her. We are back on the same page.

Just weigh everything out. Go through the possible pro's and con's of each decision. Then try to make a decision. If you still can't, then it's best to talk to your T anyways. That is her job whether or not it deals with her, whether or not she has her own attachment issues, and whether or not you're paying her.

It's a tough situation. I wish you the best of luck!