Quote:
Originally Posted by dubblemonkey
...oh hell I wake up after a giant hit of C2H5OH...
and it's not nasty like it used to be...
something inside me has adapted to seriously large amounts of this stuff
...I am so dis-interested in what makes me function...
which is really a dysfunction
...I can wander around pissed....and equally wander around ....
this equidistant dis-satisfaction is ...
who cares!
I can continue finding reasons to not do this...
I find none
what happens?....
I tell me...myself that I function better this way
so to hell with it
|
I sincerely become satisfied when I alone and me alone respond to my own considerations...!!
...it sits here for a while...
days maybe...
I second guess my intentions...
I discover that loneliness goes way beyond insignificancies...
and I can continue testing myself
because that's what every addict does!
...takes this and that...some die taking too much
some try to enjoy it some the same die too...
...some attempt to manage ....
some try to live while they are dying...
and that's me....
I beat all the bad....
I took more than the sad...
why ...so why am I alive...
just lucky
DM