Rejection is a experiences that can envoke powerful emotions. It is hard to deal with. I know it can be overwhelming and you just want to not feel it. I have done what you have done a lot of times in my life. Go through something, get rejected or feel in adequate and then get bombarded by feeling of self hate and worthlessness.

You can't do anything to change the past, but you can learn from your experiences and try to have a more positive action next time.

You may be too young to join that site, but that doesn't mean you are worthless and can't help people. It is just a rule for whatever reason and isn't a reflection of you.

It is a very noble thing of you to want to help people. For that reason alone you should take some pride in yourself and try to feel better about yourself.

Low self esteem is hard to battle. It feeds into itself a lot. I have to take a deep breath a lot and try to look at things from an objective view. My natural response is to blame myself when something goes wrong and sometimes try to make it worse by punishing myself.

Next time when something like this happens try and take a second to think about things from a different point of view. You feel what you feel and feelings are valid, not always true or reflective of facts but valid. You can control what you do with all of them.

I find that when I self injury I become numb and then when something happens again it feels intensified. The more you try and resolve internal conflicts and learn hope to cope with better means the easier it becomes to use those other coping strategies.

I'm not judging you for how you handled those feeling. Being rejected sucks. Its painful. You did the thing you knew how to cope with that. It wasn't a positive way to cope but it was coping. There are other ways to do the same thing. Try to look at it from a rational approach next time. You may be young, but that doesn't mean you can't help anyone or are worthless. What you felt was painful but was a natural part of being rejected. Next time try to acknowldge these feeling and make a decision on how to find resolution to them. The person you was 5 minutes before attempting to sign up to the website and 5 minutes after is still the same.

Stick with your therapy and if helping people makes you feel better about yourself try to find another way to help if you can't in one way. The world has no shortage of problems or people in need. Try not to forget yourself either. You have just as a much a need for help as anyone else. You are just as worthy as anyone else.

You can PM me if you ever need to talk.