I feel like I'm losing it. I haven't been online for a couple of days because my friend came over to celebrate New Year's with me. The night before she came over, at 9:00pm I looked at my wallpaper in on my bed room walls and saw the hearts on it actually beating. I was well rested, so I couldn't pin it down to tiredness and I know for a fact that it wasn't a dream. While my friend was there, I was about to go to bed the night after and as I got in bed I saw a shadow person watching me, beside my bed. My friend was asleep in the living room at the time and I was definitely awake. Earlier on today I felt the urge to pick the scabs off of my body and I reopened my wounds. I haven't got the slighted idea of why. Maybe it was because they were itchy. I don't know anymore. And I just don't care. I have urges to cut. But I really don't want to do that. I just want to be clean from it... But it's not that easy. It never is...