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My meds are not the issue because they seem to work
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I'm not so sure your meds are working all that great. You sound really depressed, of course, that is not unusual after losing a loved one, but your meds may need adjusting. Have you tried marital counseling? Is your wife willing to discuss the issues? Are you? You might give it some thought.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha