I actually understand the pain this kind of attachment can foster, and I question the helpfulness of it if something in the relationship doesn't change. I think the goal is the generalize the attachment with your T to other people in your life, but I don't see how that can realistically happen. I have a hard time understanding how you can attach so intensely with someone when it is in the confines of a therapeutic or "professional" relationship (for lack of a better term).

I had this with my child psychiatrist who I saw from age 12 to 22. I never felt fully attached with my own mom. There was no emotion there. So she became a mother figure to me, teaching me about makeup, talking to me about friends and boys. I was very attached. I didn't even contact her between session, but she would see me on demand if needed.

When she left the state for a new job after I graduated from college, I was devastated. I called her office for an appointment and they told me she was gone. I never had a closure session with her felt abandoned. Her secretary assured me that she had gone over this with me but that it is common for patients to forget these details. She also said it was normal for me to be upset. I didn't forget the details, I was sure of that, we just never talked about her leaving.

So in the end, I just felt hurt again, and abandoned. She helped me through different incidents in my childhood and teens but the relationshop did nothing to help with building future attachments with other people. This I really had to learn on my own. I really never wanted to get involved with another psychiatrist or therapist again. I did see some but never bonded again until now, many years later. Even now I worry about the stregnth of the bond and dependence and wonder how helpful it really is to patients?