I don't know what sites you are talking about, but please don't think anything of it. Like the above poster said, it is just a stupid rule someone made up and doesn't have nothing on you. You already know you can do better than that, you already know what you want to do, to help people. Prepare yourself, you should meditate. You must learn the way to never bend or break. Accept compliments, do not seek them. Accept criticism, learn from it to only become stronger.

Someone once said like animals we go into hiding when we are hurt, and I can see you are hurting badly. However, you must find the strength from within to fight back and come out because you can't hide forever, it will bring only more pain.