I'm so sorry for your loss I lost my dad almost 4 years ago he was my number fan too.

I trust you when you say your meds are working for your bipolar symptoms. Meds cannot fix the loss, and sadness you feel, when permanently losing a person that played such an integral part of your life. Well unless upping them until you're zombified is an idea of help you're open to.

Please keep posting, it may just help you feel less alone.