Please excuse my questions; I do that a lot :-) Anyway... What are recent triggers for SI? Are they similar to the ones you had when you did it 4 years ago? How did you stop then?

I get the same affects when I SI. I feel as though the good feelings last for days. So I understand how hard it is to stop. I think it is important though to remind yourself the reasons SI is not the best coping method.

Maybe try writing about how you feel when you want to SI, then later you can look at it and try to figure out what caused the thoughts.

I got the impression that you think you ruined all your progress. If I am wrong, sorry for misinterpreting. But, I think you need to know that you haven't ruined your progress. You don't have to start at square one.

Hang in there. I am here to listen if you want to talk