What keeps me going to therapy? The fact that I don't usually give things a second shot. This is my one shot, so I'll work at it and do my best. I had always had it in reserve as in "you can't kill yourself because you haven't tried therapy or meds yet." I am now trying those, so I'm rather motivated to make them work somehow.

What helps me in therapy? The fact that my T apologizes and has apologized for things he's noticed without me saying so. The fact that he does understand a lot about me already based on how he joins things together. That helps me. It helps to have someone safe to speak to about things - like... he's the only person outside of a relationship that I've ever told my issues with in the moment of dealing with them. I've told him I was upset, while I was upset. He's a safe person to do that with, so it is good practice for me because it is the sort of thing that I wish I could do.