Hey, Stone. I want to just say, this place.. I haven't been here long, but it helps me a LOT. Even if I don't post or even if people don't reply, being able to read about people like me.. It's therapeutic. Don't jump the gun and judge places like this without really giving them a chance.

That being said.. Your episode sounded a lot like how my husband is. He is NOT bipolar, mind you. He does have some rage issues. He does not communicate his feelings well (or think about unpleasant things much), so it isn't surprising it all gets bottled up in him. Then, even over something as ridiculous as me suggesting he use a spoon instead of a fork while cooking, he'll blow off the handle. (Which sounds a little like your second post, saying this place is a joke.)

He gets really bad and there's nothing I can do. Sometimes I fear he'll hit me. He can't control himself and he often doesn't remember anything he says or does. He's punched holes in walls, tried to self harm, thrown himself about on the floor, and said many things while like that.

You asked how your wife can stay with you. As a wife, I can say it isn't exactly simple. You love a person. You don't want to give up on them. You want to help them. You worry about what he'd do to himself if you ever did leave. And, in my case (because of my own problems), I don't know how I'd live without him--literally. He is the bread-earner right now. I depend on him a lot.

I don't think you're asking the right question, though. It shouldn't be "How can she stay with me" that you ask yourself. You should ask yourself "What can I do to try to get help" so that this doesn't happen.

My husband's outbursts are fewer and further between now. He's done research, seen a doctor, and makes an effort every day. I think he'd improve further if he could learn to think about those unpleasant things and open up--tell me how he's feeling or when something bothers him. I think it takes time and effort, but nothing worth doing comes easily.

Good luck, and I wish you and your wife good health.