It's a bit of a chicken or egg quandary on the surface. Do we have high self-esteem from doing what we enjoy and have success in or do we enjoy and succeed because we have high self-esteem? The answer is probably both for some and neither for those unlucky people who were never taught to feel inherent value in themselves. The seed(s) for self-esteem must be planted and nurtured for it to grow. More to the point of the original post, the key distinction is does the person shooting you down simply make you feel bad about what you did or does it reinforce a deep seated feeling of having little or no value or being defective as a person? Also worth remembering is the person berating you is most likely suffering with their own self-loathing and is projecting it on to you. We don't have to shoulder their burden. Staying with the agricultural metaphor... Depression is ~winter~ for self-esteem. What was growing goes dormant and new seeds won't germinate. Farmers don't plow and plant in January. And we can't grow self-esteem while we're depressed.

The soccer reference reminded me of the time my father first came to one of my youth football games. After the game I was proud of my play and that I helped us win. When I met my dad he told me I was terrible and was getting knocked all over the place out there. Not one word of encouragement or praise. Not one seed planted.