When i explained something similar to my pdoc after going through a trauma he explained it as "depersonalization". I was watching my life as if i were in a movie. I would hear my conversation & wonder how they/ me knew wh to say. Scariest feeling i have ever experienced.

The trauma was with the home care person i caught abusing my mother when she was dying of cancer yet in denial that she was dying. It was like wat hing a horror movie.

Having also left a bad marriage since then & had 2 years of DBT i have learned that the mind uses depersonalization as a way of protecting itself when anxiety gets too much to handle however it becomes a problem when it takes over continually how we respond to situations. Then we need to learn other ways of coping.