Hi there and welcome!

I agree with what the other two have said. There are several dissociative disorders on the dissociative spectrum. You may have one, or it may be a symptom of something else going on.

You had therapy before, but it sounds that you were young and "pushed". What about if you did it today, on your own...for you and on your own terms, dealing with what you want to deal with? It can make all the difference.

Again welcome and good luck!

KD