called my mother on new years eve. left a message wishing her a happy new years. Called her again new years day. Left a message wishing her happy new years. The definition of being rejected to your very core is when your mother doesnt even care enough about you to return a call and say happy new year. New years 2014 comes with that reinforcing proof that I am not even wanted by my own mother. So depression runs deep. I think thats probably one of the reasons she rejects me. Because I am not well. Too bad. Because I do love her