He's a good person. He wants to help me. He hasn't even triggered me once. He is SO nice. He has done so much for me.

He's too nice...I feel like I don't deserve it. I'm scared I'm just gonna hurt him....like I hurt everyone in my life. I don't want to so that. He's too great for that. BPD makes me feel like a monster. He say's he wants to stick through and help me, he says "let me be your rock" but at what cost? He says he will never leave. But I want to run, to push him away. I can't give myself the chance to hurt him. I don't want to let him in, I don't want him to know I'm crazy >_< Why do I want to push anything healthy out of my life? It's like my brain sees something normal and says "I don't understand this, GET RID OF IT". What do I do? Why am I this way?