Big hug goes out to you. It was very difficult the first year I was diagnosed with DID. I didn't know a lot about it just that I switched. Try to get to know the alter that cooks. Ask her questions. She doesn't sound like she is trying to harm you. It sounds a lot like a younger alter that cooks. Some of my alters did not talk directly to me but I found that if I talked out loud to them they could hear me. I found that most didn't know me either. So I talked about myself and our living situation and stuff like that. Now most of my parts will talk to me (if they want to). and that has been good for all of us. I hope you feel better. Hugs.