My heart is aching for you. To be experiencing this impeding loss over your T and then to have your husband discredit you must be very difficult. Anyone (anyone!) in your situation would feel broken.

I think if your T is any good she will understand. You are not the first client to leave a voicemail they regret, period. It happens. Probably a lot.

I don't think you're out of bounds to ask for a '911' visit with her asap.

You may not feel it, but you ARE strong enough for this. You have already made it this far.