I'm sorry things are so rough! It is difficult when trying to get other people (who just don't understand) to realize how serious of an issue it is for you.

I've had a lot of people accept my alters' behaviours as okay, and not even think about what it means (professionals). In my case, i know they are trying to keep me from becoming overwhelmed by it, and to learn to accept it. But all I think is that if it were them, I KNOW they wouldn't be so okay with everything. I will sometimes switch to a 5/6 year old and it is difficult because she's not able to handle big or grownup issues that might come up. I've had counsellors tell me that is okay, and it makes me frustrated. I tell them to imagine they are themselves, and then suddenly they do/say x, y, z. It's not someone else doing it, it's their body, their life doing it and they have no control over it. I suggest that they wouldn't be okay with it if it was them doing it. The answer after that was quite a bit more thoughtful, and she admitted that she had been trying to make me feel like I wasn't a freak or anything.

Sometimes people can say really insensitive things when they are trying to support you. I would suggest talking to them and seeing if you can get a straight answer on where they stand with DID as a possibility. Some medical professionals don't believe that DID is a real thing, and it would be nice to know if your supports believe that. If that's true, there's not a lot you can say to get them on board, and it might be time to find another Dr and T. As well you should be able to request a second opinion from another Dr, so that's another route.

I know you're more looking for emotional support, but I like to toss out ideas as well in case you're feeling the need to do something.

All the best, my dear!!!
IJ

PS, Claritytoo has a great idea with trying to communicate with your alter. It might be possible to write a note to her one night and see if she answers. If she reads/writes and is willing to answer, it would be really helpful to communicate by notes.

Another thought, could your daughter accompany you to T one time and help explain the alter and her behaviours to your T? Sometimes the extra support is very helpful in appointments.